Koko(-no) Shitai Jibun-ni Oya-wa Nashi
(Are you visiting your parents often?)
Originally the concept of “Koko” came from Confucian teachings designed only for the Samurai class. If it was simply adopted idea from Confucius, the idea would have been spread out only in Samurai class. Now you know what I mean. The concept itself was adopted from Confucius, but the ethics of “Koko” had been already existed before its adoption. Even at the bottom of the Japanese social class, the ethics of “Koko” was widely appreciated. Those who follow the ethics are highly admired while others who neglect the ethics ended up with outcasts.
(Massaging your parents are considered as an easy way for even kids to do “Koko.”)
(Carrying your old parents, as they did when you were a baby, is recognized to be respectable.)
Once you are independent of your parents, it’s quite easy for you to forget about how much you were loved when you were young children. When they are finally gone, you, for the first time in your life, realize how little you paid back the love you received from your parents for a long time. You are to regret – deeply.
That’s why this proverb warns you that you’d better do what you are ethically to do to your old parents while they are alive so you won’t regret later. You may say, ” Oh, my parents didn’t do anything in particular for me when I was young. They did whatever they wanted to do and whenever they wanted to do it. I worked through college, got degrees, and got a dream job. I accomplished all of them all by myself. I don’t have to be grateful to them at all.” Wait a minute! You did something great all by yourself because they showed you a bad example, warning you not to do that to your kids! You learned how to live your life from your experience with your parents. In that sense, you should give credit where credit is due.
(Writing to them will make them happy. One of “Koko.”)
Unfortunately, Japanese youngsters are getting forgetful about “Koko” for the last couple of decades. Partly because of Westernized society – Over-appreciating “democracy,” letting kids make their own decisions when they can’t or not bothering to teach them disciplines because they are afraid their kids might hate them if they insist. Whatever it is, the Japanese society is too slack. Even those who are in their 50s tend to forget being thankful to others including their parents. To compensate for that, there exists “Koko” business in Japan now – Go help the clients’ parents. Who is supposed to do that instead of using that kind of service? Pathetic!!
(Are your parents really happy when you send “Koko” business people?)
Well, “Supply and Demand.” I heard that “Koko” business is thriving…. In your busy life, sometimes stop to smell a rose AND THINK A BIT ABOUT YOUR PARENTS. “Koko(-no) Shitai Jibun-ni Oya-wa Nashi (=When one would be filial, one’s parents are gone./ A son is always too late to think of his parents.). Do not regret later!